[SSG Big Daddy]

Someone just passed me this when I came on shift, hits it on the head...

THE GUYS’ RULES


FINALLY, THE GUYS’ SIDE OF THE STORY. WE ALWAYS HEAR “THE RULES” FROM THE FEMALE SIDE.

NOW, HERE ARE “THE RULES” FROM THE MALE SIDE. THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE... THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED “1”. ON PURPOSE!!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU’RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT IS UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON’T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. SUNDAY SPORTS; IT’S LIKE THE FULL MOON OR THE CHANGING OF THE TIDES. LET IT BE.

1. SHOPPING IS NOT A SPORT. AND NO, WE ARE NEVER GOING TO THINK OR IT THAT WAY.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE: SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK! STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK! OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK! JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT’S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. A HEADACHE THAT LASTS FOR 17 MONTHS IS A PROBLEM. SEE A DOCTOR.

1. ANYHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU WON’T DRESS LIKE THE VICTORIA’S SECRET GIRLS, DON’T EXPECT US TO ACT LIKE SOAP OPERA GUYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU ARE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON’T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THEM MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, THEN WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH. IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE.

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS. PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF IT ICHES, IT WILL BE SCRATCHED. WE DO THAT.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY “NOTHING”, WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING’S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE, BESIDES WE KNOW YOU WILL BRING IT UP AGAIN LATER.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON’T WANT THE ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR.

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE… REALLY.

1. DON’T ASK US WHAT WE’RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS BASEBALL, THE SHOTGUN FORMATION OR GOLF.

1. YOU HAVE ENOOUGH CLOTHES.

1. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES!

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS, YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT; BUT, DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON’T MIND THAT? IT’S LIKE CAMPING.

[-=TANK=-]

[Shizune]

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU’RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT IS UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON’T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

You guys also piss all over the toilet seat in retaliation.

1. SUNDAY SPORTS; IT’S LIKE THE FULL MOON OR THE CHANGING OF THE TIDES. LET IT BE.

Go ahead and watch your sports on TV, more time for me to take the car.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE.

This is why I drive.

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS, YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT; BUT, DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON’T MIND THAT? IT’S LIKE CAMPING.

How the hell is that like camping?

[KINGS11]

woah i gotta start posting and less reading. I just found out theres a girl/women on the forums lol.

[Shizune]

Omg No Way!

[Venture710]

Shizune, the person on WC3 is a chick?

[Shizune]

OMG no way... again

Yes I am

[MrBabytaz]

Why is it a surprize that there is a girl posting here ether you guys are slow or something theres two girls man slow thats what i say

[always-there]

Originally Posted by =nsn=MrBabytaz

Why is it a surprize that there is a girl posting here ether you guys are slow or something theres two girls man slow thats what i say

lmao!

[SSG Big Daddy]

I guess we have to add another rule:

1. THIS IS THE TYPE OF RESPONSE GUYS LOOK FOR WHEN WE POST A JOKE;

Originally Posted by -=TANK=-

NOT A BREAKDOWN LIKE THIS:

Originally Posted by Shizune

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU’RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT IS UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON’T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

You guys also piss all over the toilet seat in retaliation.

1. SUNDAY SPORTS; IT’S LIKE THE FULL MOON OR THE CHANGING OF THE TIDES. LET IT BE.

Go ahead and watch your sports on TV, more time for me to take the car.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE.

This is why I drive.

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS, YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT; BUT, DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON’T MIND THAT? IT’S LIKE CAMPING.

How the hell is that like camping?